"There's a spark in you, you just got to ignite the light and let it shine. Just own the night, like the Fourth of July. You're a firework, come on show them what you're worth...Come on let your colors burst."
 ~Katy Perry
The Recent Name Change

 don't know if anyone on here even noticed, but I tend to change the title of my blog ever so often.

I guess I either haven't found a name that really fits yet or I just get bored. I tend to do this with other aspects of my life as well. It seem like I have a weird urge to re-arrange my room every winter. It actually happens, just ask my roommates ;)

Also, I was looking at pictures from my birthday at Disneyland last year and there is this great one of me and my best friend sitting in the teacups of Alice and Wonderland and the pictures just embodies so much about what life truly is:

LIFE

A whirlwind adventure full of twists and turns,
laughing and smiling while trying to hang on

I Apologize for my Randomness
Wow, looking over that last post I realized I was not connecting my thoughts well at all. I figure having separated topics can be helpful when I have lots to say. Haha. I just don't feel like writing a post for each random subject I feel like talking about. I swear I am not that horrible at writing, I just had a lot on my mind. What I was starting to do, is doing what I do best. STRESS
Stressing out while writing my personal statement, stressing out while studing vocabulary for the GRE.
Stressing about the future of my career, what career? Everything.
So I think I need to take a little breather today and calm myself.
I just haven't figured out what that is going to entail quite yet.
My lovely boyfriend is done with his finals tonight. Maybe we'll do a little celebration/stress release.

The Boyfriend

I have a very good boyfriend. Anyone that knows me would most definitely agree. He puts up with my craziness. Especially lately. A lot of my friends are getting engaged and married, or already married and I guess I had a slight case of "ring fever" or "rush to the altar syndrome"; whatever you want to call it.
 Its surprising we don't fight that much considering we see each other every single day and we've both been really stressed lately. I guess it might be because we have been together for so long now [three years next month o.O] that he knows how to tackle anything I throw at him<3

Things I am Loving at the Moment


Courtesy of Jacksonjewels.com


I have had an obsession with finding out what type of stone this is for the longest time. Mostly because I have a  ring from Target and I could never remember that it was called silver marcasite. I finally figured it out today and It makes me so happy! Especially because my old ring is too big now and I am itching for a replacement one of these days.
This rose ring would be a good choice, huh?
It reminds me of the flower from Beauty & the Beast a little bit

Courtesy of Swiss Miss

This phrase was originally used as a poster produced by the British government in 1939 with the intention to raise morale of the British public during World War II. I thought it was a cute little phrase and the rich history behind it makes it even more interesting.  I definitely need some form of this in my apartment. One of the blogs I follow had a picture of it in her kitchen. I noticed it again on another design blog. It was little know and never used but now its trendy. Oh well, I guess I'm jumping on the bandwagon!

Young House Love

This idea I totally owe to this new awesome blog I stumbled upon today. I have a feeling I will be looking into this site much further.
This will be the perfect gift for one of my good friends. I'm so excited to try and make it :)
I definitely suggest you go to the link and check it out.
By the way: to the owner of that blog, just in case you read this, I adore your house; it is absolutely gorgeous!

Courtesy of kaboodle.com

Courtesy of kaboodle.com

Can you believe that someone handcrafted these? So amazing. The love note postcard is absolutely adorable and it has already been sold which breaks my heart because I would definitely wear that. The bracelet is also lovely and it is so true. I know I have definitely opened up my heart, which is really the only way to truly love.


~*Happy Tuesday!*~
P.S. I would love any advice on blog designs. I added the Page feature but it doesn't seem to let me make more than one. I have also been frustrated with the lack of font selection on blogger and I wish I could figure out how to get the cool fonts people have on their blogs >.< Any other general guidance about templates, fonts, imbedding, etc. would be greatly appreciated!

The Clock Keeps Ticking

I can't believe its already almost a month since I started working again. Time is going by really fast.
I still love it there. I got to decorate a real 6 foot noble fir on Friday and we had a bunch of cookies and snacks :)
I love coming in to work in the morning and smelling that christmas tree smell. Since I don't get to have a real tree in my apartment and I won't be home to decorate with  my parents, it was pretty awesome to get to decorate the work tree. I really miss being home during the holiday season. I'll be lucky to go home for the Christmas weekend. In my head, I was thinking, is it really worth driving home Christmas eve just to drive back that Sunday? Then I realized I would really miss seeing all my family, even with all their drama. :)
Except for the job, things haven't been going as I would have liked. The GRE is looming in my face and I still haven't registered or studied. I also only have two letters of recommendation now, instead of the required three.

So pretty much when I got home from work today I put on sweats and was going to be an alcoholic and make a martini but I changed my mind. I made fried rice instead.

 I guess it could be worse. I could be taking the GRE tomorrow, like my boyfriend.

He's working on a paper while I'm surfing the internet and blogging. 

Times like these, I don't miss school at all.

The time off is really nice. I feel like by the time I'm done applying and have worked almost a full year, I'll be ready to get back in to the swing of school again.

I'm not looking forward to the broke part of being a graduate student however.

I was looking at apartments in possible places that I could be living next summer. 

It will be really nice when I found out what city I'm moving to.

I watched Julie & Julia the other night. Its definitely one of my favorite movies. I wish I had something cool going on in my life that I could make a really fun blog about.

Oh well. I've definitely realized there's a lot of things about websites that I don't know about. The blogs that I subscribe to are so amazing, I don't know how they do it.

Day 2 (on the job)

     Originally I had no idea what kind of  general subject my blog was going to follow. Then I decided to do a "post grad" theme since I started the blog when I had just graduated from college. I know it's not the most original idea, but I figure that's the phase my life is in, so might as well write about it ;)
While keeping to the general theme of life after college, I am also thinking using my new job as fuel for writing. Mostly because this is my first office job in a long time and I tend to have a lot of random thoughts running through my mind through out the day. I spend a lot of my time tapping my fingers on the desk, so I figure, might as well write down my thoughts.

Isn't this the most adorable work space :)
I wish my desk was this pretty

  I got here at 8:30 in the morning and let me tell you, that is very early for me. I guess it's early for most people at my new office because I was one of the first people in the entire building. That's okay though, I like the quiet since I'm new and I like feeling settled by the time the partners come in the door.
     The tech guy Ryan was setting up my computer when I walked in, which made me excited because my first day behind the desk was boring without any computer to work on.
By the time I had finished making coffee he was done. I think it's kind of funny that today was the first day I have ever made coffee from a coffee pot maker. I hope I made it right, but whoever drank it didn't say anything so I guess I won't know.
     The rest of the day has been just as uneventful as the morning. I did some filing and sorted some t-shirts for the wherehouse employees. Other than answering the phone, signing for packages and buzzing open the door, that is pretty much what my job entails.
Pretty easy, huh?
     Definitely easier than I expected it to be. I am taking it with a grain of salt, however, since it is my second day and I'm sure they will find more work for me to do in the future. As nice as it is to sit down for most of the day, I hate that I'm at the office from the time I leave the house until after the sun goes down. I miss out on all the sunshine. Daylight hours are my favorite part of the day and with the daylight savings time change, it's dark by the time I get to go home :( I guess I'll just have to get used to that until it's spring again.
     I haven't figured out my new budget yet, but I'm pretty sure I will have some extra money to spend on a gym membership. Which I can't wait to purchase because I hate that our apartment complex does not have a gym. Given how tiny I was in the past, I definitely don't mind having curves, but I don't want to get TOO curvy. Hopefully I'll be able to get it next month. Maybe I'll wait until January because I'm sure I can get a good deal for New Years.

     I'm very happy to have found a stable job and a friendly work environment. It felt like I would never find a satisfying job. Even though it took me months to find something, I still feel blessed because I know the job market is horrendous these days and many people are still out of work. I found a job before my mom and she has been out of work for almost two years.
I really hope my parents find something soon.
Only two more hours of work! There's a special program at church tonight that I'm going to after work. I'm a little nervous only because I forgot to register (so they don't know I'm coming) and I don't know if I will know anyone there. Should be a good event though.



Hope everyone is getting through the Monday blues!

Weekends are the nice part of the week. Everyone seems to be more relaxed and more friendly.
My weekend has started off pretty well. After doing some cleaning I went to the coffee house to get some work done. Got some good coffee, didn't really get much work done.
I got through only one section of my GRE diagnostic test. The verbal section is way harder than I had anticipated. Which means I'm going to need to do some major studying the next month.
Oh well, at least I had a good time with my friend at the coffee place.
She was working on her law schools apps, so we share each other's pain.

My boyfriend is ditching me this Saturday night but that's okay because my friend is coming down to treat me to a belated b-day dinner (She missed my actual b-day dinner)
So this night is definitely not a lost cause.
Tomorrow should be pretty relaxing.
Church and some girl time with my best friend.
All and all a pretty good weekend lined up.

Happy Saturday :)

My days as a Working Girl are about to begin...

This week has been a crazy roller coaster. Just within the first two days I had major family drama and a job offer. Talk about a start to the new week!
What's exciting is that this is my last week of barely working part-time hours. Starting tomorrow and more officially next week, I will be a full time working girl for a marketing firm :)
Not only am I super excited, I am also very nervous. I haven't been in an office environment in years and I this is also my first "grown up" job since leaving college.
I feel like a new chapter in my life is opening up.
This job saved my butt. Not only will it help with the family drama, but I will be able to support my self and be fully independent. I am looking forward to these next six months of my life.
Especially once the GRE and graduate school applications are done.
Since I have been proscrastinating outrageously on my personal statements and GRE test prep, I will be taking this weekend as study time. Exciting ;)
On a more serious note.
It is kind of amazing the way God works in people's lives. I am not very good about praying and I have been struggling to figure out when and what God has planned for me. I feel like the struggling I have been through these last months are for a reason. I am just so thankful that this opportunity has been brought to me. I have been a little self-absorbed also and now that the stress in my life has lessened I need to put more focus into the rest of my family who needs help. I think that growing up has more to do then just graduating from school. There are definitely some more life lessons to learn.
Anyways,
Yay, for tomorrow!

A Step in the Right Direction

These last few weeks have been very stressful. Being unemployed was fun. 
In the beginning.
I slept in late, caught up on Grey's Anatomy...
After a while though, it got really old. Especially when I ran out of money.
Luckily I got my first break on Wednesday with a job offer for a part time job at this local flower shop. Definitely not what I originally had in mind when graduating from college, but hey what can ya do?
I started my first day of training yesterday and I really like the shop. I feel like I've definitely got my positive attitude back and am ready for more!
So I continued my job hunt ( in need more hours from a second job, etc.)
I actually went on this great interview today. They really seemed to genuinely like me & I hope they're not being fake because that would make me very sad :(
Anyways, I got a very good vibe from the company and I really really hope they hire me!!!!
I'm tired of interviewing, please please please let me get a full-time job!


I guess I'm also in a good mood because it's my birthday tomorrow!!! I'm not excited about being older but I guess it hard to not be happy about your birthday right?
I definitely feel like I've been growing up a lot lately.

Let the Rain Come Down

The title is one of my favorite songs by Sara Bareilles right now. I've been listening to it a lot lately and its fitting for my life right now
I wish blogger had more font choices....
Yes, that was my random thought for today.
It was an interesting weekend. The weather the last two days has really reminded me of home. I actually wore my peacoat to church today and then snuggled under blankets the rest of the day :) Nothing eventful happened. It was pretty relaxing actually, which I think I really needed since I had been really stressed out lately.
I had a really good hang out and talk with a good friend yesterday. 
I checked out on reality today, watching a bunch of tv shows and now that Monday morning is looming, its time to go back to the real world.
I have THREE job interviews tomorrow! :) Wish me luck world!
I am determined to stay positive. Its been hard for me to realize, but I know that God has a plan in my life and that he is there for me. I don't know how things are going to work out, but I know that they will. I hope that it is within God's plan that one of these three jobs will be the ONE.
Besides that, I don't really have any other news. Except Grey's Anatomy Season Six is now streaming on Netflix. Which is AMAZING!
For those who don't know...which is probably anyone who is reading this...I was an obsessed fan of Grey's. I own all five previous seasons. 
I say was because when they started hacking off my favorite characters (Burke, George, oh and NOW Izzy as well) it was very upsetting. The beginning crew built what that show is today. 
That's not the only reason I did a boycott from Grey's for a while. My senior year was very hectic and I got behind on the episodes. 
I am one of those people who hate hate hate not knowing what is going on. Whether that be in real life or on tv shows. So I decided since I didn't have the time to catch up and I didn't want to watch current episodes without knowing what had happened previously I boycotted. I have not seen Grey's in about a year I think. That is a LONG time! 

Even though I was not liking the direction the show was going, it has still been my favorite show for the last five years. Which is why i was so excited when I found out on Friday that Grey's was on Netflix. I can finally find out what happened this last season.

It had really been bugging me since I had only seen the first four episodes of the sixth season. It was also very hard to keep from finding out what was going on accidently, especially since my lovely ex-roomies love that show too ;)
I guess I'm done rambling about that now as well...
Overall the weekend was good. I'm kind of pissed off at one of my roommates at the moment, almost ruined my night but I'm getting over it.
He can be a jack ass if he wants to. Just don't expect me to help him out anymore 
Which I know is not the right attitude, but I assume once I'm not mad anymore I'll be nice to him again....maybe ;)


Well, good night world. Wish me luck tomorrow!

The Diet Never Happened

 I kind of laugh over my previous post about starting a diet. That lasted a total of about 1 day.
I am just so addicted to the yumminess that is fast food :)
Its bad. Those animal fries got me...

It's kinda sad though because I really want to get rid of these love handles that are starting to form before it too late!

I guess that's just how life has been lately...Things not working out.

My lovely schedule that I built for myself is gone. I'm job hunting, AGAIN.

I have probably done at least 3o applications in the last two weeks. It is kind of ridiculous how bad the job market is. Two years ago I would of had a job last week. Instead it is going on the third week of not having work and I am really starting to stress out. Being on your own and not having an income is a BIG problem.

I'm trying to remain hopefully about my recent interviews. I only had three this week and only two of them I'm actually being considered for. One of them isn't even full time but I am so desperate at this point that ANYTHING will do.

I really do mean anything. I applied to Boston Market today...

That's how desperate I am. A young adult woman with her college degree has applied to a food restaurant.

Aren't I glad I spent so much money on that piece of paper?!

I never thought I would miss Macy's, and I really don't but I miss having a job that paid at least some of my bills.

I didn't appreciate that enough, even if it wasn't enough, it was something.

*SIGH*

I think I'm done with my ranting.

I just want to be a working girl again.

I need to leave this in God's hands.

Lord, hopefully it is your will for me to get one of the positions that I applied for this week. I really need to earn money soon! Please help me!

Amen

Diets, Books and Yogurt

Friday night was pretty fun. I went to an event at my Church. They are putting on a ten-week course called "Alpha Course" and it talks about Jesus Christ and the meaning of life. I decided to sign up for it and I really feel like it is going to be really informative and helpful. Part of the course is a series of videos by this British guy that wrote the curriculum and he is pretty hilarious. The was a whole spread of food from Stonefire Grill and I was so full from dinner and dessert that I thought I was going to die!

If this keeps up I am never going to be able to stick to a proper diet :)

After dinner I hung out with my old roommate for a bit before heading out for a kickback hosted by some of Ryan's friends. Their apartment is so bright and colorful with crazy bright accent walls. We played "Never Have I Ever" and some other games. I learned more about people's sex lives than I really need to know. It was really late when we got there and we didn't leave until 3:30a.m. and I was so tired! I woke up this morning feeling all achy and exhausted, and I barely drank anything!

Today was a pretty lazy day and filled with more yummy food. (Jack N the Box & Panda, I'm so bad!) I decided that since tomorrow is the beginning of a new week, I am going to watch what I eat from here on out. Which means I need to be good later today at the Church bbq. This Church feeds people like they're homeless, its crazy! The boyfriend says that that's how Baptists are.

Earlier tonight I was talking with my old roommate (she'd been staying over the past two nights) and we were going through all the books that we love or want to read.

I now have this long list of books I need to read and I want to go through all the great classics...which will take me a while. I figure I'll just add it to my now increasing list of things to do this fall.

I'm going to start off with Pride and Prejudice.

I started reading it once, and couldn't get past the first few chapters about marriage, but I hear it gets better so I'm going to try again.

I ate Yogurtland again tonight...

yes, I know this is not helping my diet plans. This is my last splurge though and it was awesome.

Pumpkin pie & NY cheesecake yogurt with cookie dough, strawberries and chocolate sauce :)

Heaven!

Planning...

Today has been a productive day.

My day started off a little late but I got a lot done. I went to the library to return books and picked up some drawing books and some Spanish books. (This is all a part of my plan that I am going to explain later)

Then I went to Michael's to return the cross-stitch that was the wrong type and I didn't get a replacement because they have no stamped cross stitch for a decent price. I checked out Petsmart as well to get info about the kitty volunteers but I haven't made up my mind about that...I'm thinking I won't have the time for it because as fun as it would be I have more serious responsibilities to handle. Which leads into what I have been trying to plan the last few days.

My fall schedule.

Since I'm the only one in the house out of school, I want to stay busy. Now that I have FINALLY secured a job with stable hours I can do just that. In the beginning I thought I was going to be bored but I actually think I have quite a lot to do now. My overall outline is:

Mondays: work 8a.m.-5 p.m., work out 5:30 p.m.

Tuesdays: work 8a.m.-5 p.m., work out 5:30 p.m.

Wednesdays: work 8a.m.-5 p.m., Bible Study 7-9 p.m.

Thursdays: work 8a.m.-5 p.m., work out 5:30 p.m.,

Fridays: work 8a.m.-5 p.m., Alpha Course 7-9 p.m.

Saturdays: volunteer work(?) work out 5:30 p.m.

Sundays: Church 10 a.m., volunteer work(?)

I've been searching the web, looking for places to volunteer and I inquired at four places. I'm kind of hoping for the one with elder care because I want to do something to help people like my grandpa since I can't be there to help him myself.

I also plan on using my weekday evenings to catch up on my hobbies--cross stitching, scrap booking, blogging (new one!), drawing and I plan on trying to learn spanish (for real this time--almost six years of the subject and it still hasn't sunk in)

I hope that my initial plan works out. It won't be fully into effect until the end of the month or October. I'm not looking forward to having to get up at 8 a.m. five days a week. It's definitely going to be a new one for me!

I think that is all for tonight...my remaining plans for the evening are reading and getting the boyfriend to take me to Yogurtland :)

Goodnight and God Bless

Good news!

I'm sad that after tonight, I have to go back to work for the next three days :(
But that's okay because the last two days have gone really well. As of the last post I was waiting on two job positions and I found out from one of them that they want me! So I was able to put in my resignation at my job today which felt amazing!
So glad that I will be done with that place by next Thursday.
The position isn't my ideal job but its a M-F which will be a really nice change to have my evening and weekends available again. Now I just need to plan the rest of my schedule so I'm not bored the rest of the year.
UC Irvine starts back up in a week and its going to be so weird not going back to school. All the other roommates will be starting classes and I'm definitely jealous.
At least I will be starting two different classes with the Church on Wednesday and Friday nights. I feel like that will be a good way to fill some time.
The first day of the Wednesday bible study was tonight. It was a lot of fun! There was so much food, it was unbelievable. I really wish I had taken a picture of it with my phone ;P I ate so much!
It feels so good to get a good meal...I tend to not realize how broke I am until I go somewhere and get properly fed. The people at Church can cook!
Anyways, we got introduced to our small groups and went over the basics of how things are going to be run. It was a good first day and I'm looking forward to next week. We had a closing prayer and prayer requests and I got choked up when I tried talking about my parents and my grandpa which sucks because I hate crying in front of people, especially new people. Everyone was really nice about it though.
The second class starts on Friday and I am looking forward to that as well.
I want to volunteer somewhere and I know I should be looking for some non-profit organizations, so I can work on stuff for graduate school but I couldn't resist thinking about the sign I saw at Petsmart asking for volunteers for kitten care. That would be so much fun. I figure I they need someone in the evenings I could probably still do it and do something on weekends for a non-profit. I wanted to be busy right?? I think I might actually look into that afterall...
I am kind of nervous about starting the new job though. I hope that I don't get burnt out too quickly, especially since I'll be at this place for the next ten months or so.

Which gets me to thinking about graduate school again and my worries about what schools I'm going to get into and whether I'll be living in the Bay Area or in Sacramento or in Fresno or who knows where!
Then I start worrying about whether the boyfriend will be going to school nearby or not and I wish everything will just work out smoothly!
I know that I would be able to go to graduate school without him, but if we were to go to the same graduate school it definitely would be a plus! I mean we've never been apart for more than 2 weeks since I've started dating him :)

I'm glad for the break from school for a little bit, but at the same time I wish I knew where my life is heading. So much uncertainty about the next couple of years. All I know is that I will try my hardest to make sure the boyfriend and I get through these next couple of years because I can't picture my life without him.

I can't wait to start working full-time, get a full-time paycheck and be able to pay everything on time!!!
By my birthday I'll probably have a little extra money for clothes :)

I love Sundays

Today was a good day. Most Sundays are good days, which is why I like them so much.

Sundays usually mean no work for me, no work for the boyfriend, laziness and Church.

Church is a new addition to the Sunday routine and I am liking it so far. The people are really nice and welcoming.

I like being involved in a community again, especially since school ended.

We signed up for a bible class and today they were talking about another class held on Fridays and we're going to check that one out this week and I'm pretty excited about it.

I was really tired this morning but I got a nice surprise after the service. Not only was their coffee, but food as well!! I got a nice plate full of fruit, wheat thins and a bagel :)

Four years of college definitely makes you appreciate good free food. One of the many lessons of being away from home.

The boyfriend and I went to Costco for a few things and some yummy samples :) and then I played Fable II for a little while.

I was talking to one of my best friends on the phone the other night and she said I had lost interest in all my whole hobbies because I was so busy with school and that I should take them back up again now that I'm done.

It definitely makes sense and i picked up a cross-stitching kit from Michaels today. I haven't cross-stitched since my my taught me in high school. She'll be glad to hear I plan on starting it again.

I didn't get laundry done like I was supposed to today. Instead I got wrapped up in Bible verses and my new book I'm reading call "Sea Glass". Its a interesting setting and I'm not sure where the author's going with it...

Anyways, now I'm actually watching a super old childhood classic "Labyrinth". I haven't seen it in years and it is so 80's!!!!!

Then I'm off to work tomorrow >.<>

I just have to get through tomorrow and then it'll be time for my interview and my dinner date with Beca!

:)

A Very Busy September So Far...

Its only been September for ten days now and I feel like so much is going on.

I went to the Emergency Room for chest pains and shortness of breath. That was a fun night! (huge amounts of sarcasm)

It was almost two hours before I saw any one and of course by then I could breathe normally again. The doctors couldn't figure out what was wrong with me after doing tests and finally sent me home at 5:30 a.m.

Luckily I didn't have work the next day but after staying up the whole night, I go to the UCI

health clinic and find out I'll have to pay 40% of the costs of the ER visit. It was a great way to start the month.

Since then I've been having chest pains on and off; usually at the most inconvenient times too!

*SIGH* They did have an idea that it was due to anxiety or stress or heartburn or everything. I'm trying to change my diet by not eating so late at night (which is a lot harder than I thought!) I also have taken up walking to the park a few blocks from my apartment complex almost every day.

As for de-stressing and less anxiety....That will be a harder pro

blem to fix. Although I do feel like my job searching is going much better these last few weeks. I have my third job interview next Tuesday. I interviewed at the YMCA last week but didn't receive a callback :(

I interviewed at CarMax yesterday (Thursday) and I really really hope they liked me because that job would be perfect!!

Its only during the week and I would have my evenings off as well.

I'm just tired of my current job jerking me around and not giving me enough hours. It'll be nice to have a set schedule so I can plan other things around working. So I'm keeping my fingers crossed!!

The interview next week is also a good option. I'm praying one of these two jobs work out!

Once this job business gets taken care of, I feel I will be less anxious.

Being able to pay the bills and on time will definitely be a bonus!

I've discovered a new distraction called "Fable II" on Xbox 360 and I have already devoted way too much time to it.

I played hooky from work today....oh yes, that's a whole other story I will tangent into:

So last night my boyfriend and I really got into it and I ended up going to sleep alone and pissed off. He ended up sleeping on the futon downstairs. (I swear living together makes fights so much worse!)

I wasn't sleeping very well, waking up every hour and it didn't help

that I was supposed to be at work in the morning. Around 5 a.m. he comes back upstairs and we go to sleep not really talking. When I wake up to my alarm for work I am so freaking exhausted I decided I would just go in for the mid-shift instead. Ended up sleeping late and the boyfriend and I patched things up. Then of course there was make up time and by then I decided going to work was pointless. Hence the playing hooky...

Back to my day of distractions. After finally receiving the case for my newly upgraded phone, I went to the grocery store and started playing Fable II. Let's just say it was many hours later and much darker when I was done. I get mad at my bo

yfriend all the time for playing video games, but ironically they are so addicting!

I feel like he has some how found a way to corrupt me so I can't nag him anymore...

Anyways, things seem to be looking up!

I'm trying to just take things day by day and staying positive.

This new church my boyfriend and I found is pretty awesome. We start their weekly bible study next week and I am looking forward to it.

Now it's time to drag my boyfriend away from the tv and go to sleep!

Why is it so hot?!

I actually have some things to talk about today, isn't that exciting?

Although honestly, who am I talking to because the only follower is my boyfriend and I don't even think he reads this. I think he just clicked "follow me" to make me feel better. I guess that's okay because that's one of the many reasons I love him.

I really miss Bay Area weather. Right now its probably starting to cool off as we head into September. Instead I am stuck with this crappy orange county weather. It is way too hot, i mean i had to unplug Narius' heater so that his water wouldn't start boiling. Narius is my betta fish that I got last september.

For those of you that don't know I am OBSESSED with animals. When I was a little kid i wanted to be a veterinarian so bad! Then I found out that it required a lot of math and science-two things I wasn't the best at, so that dream died.

So I have to share this picture because it is just too adorable.

That little fur ball is my cat Snickers who has inhabited this world for the last eleven years. She is my little diva that loves attention and gets extremely jealous when she does not get it. The pair of legs she is chilling on is my boyfriend ;) She lays on him all the time and of course he loves it ;P

So, moving on....

Its weird seeing all the back to school stuff around because for the first time in the last 17 years, I am NOT going "back to school". Pretty amazing how much education takes over the first twenty-something years of your life; and I'm not even done yet!

This break from school is nice, but I must admit that I will be happy when next August rolls around and I will be settled in at some University getting ready to start graduate school. *fingers crossed* !

I had the entire weekend off from work this past weekend at that was awesome :)

We had a little get together on Friday night to send off one of my subleasing roomies, back to his hometown in New Jersey. It was pretty fun and I had way too much! I was so happy when I could finally eat food again on Saturday night. I went to In-and-Out burger and it was amazing!

Sunday was pretty mellow. My boyfriend Ryan and I went to this new church and it was really nice. The people there were super friendly and I really liked the atmosphere. Ryan was talking about wanting to find a new church [we don't like the old one we used to go to] and I didn't really feel like going [i never do, lol] but I'm really glad he talked me into it. We're going to go back next Sunday.

I was so bad on Monday. I slept in til almost 2pm! After Ryan got off work we went to Disneyland and by the time it was almost nine o'clock we were really tired. My feet were hurting so bad that I didn't mind missing the fireworks. Our annual passes are almost expired so we'll being going back soon anyways.

The one problem with going to Disneyland is that my ankles & feet were killing me today at work. My bff Courtney wants to go on Thursday but I don't know if I can handle it!

I know it may take time for things to start going in the direction that you want, but I am starting to get impatient. I have been searching for a new job for over 3 months now and my parents aren't any closer to finding jobs either. Its just so frustrating! I guess that's why its a good thing I found a new church. I really need to put my faith in God and ask him to help me be patient. I know in the end things will work out but it's very hard to not know when that endpoint is.

Going back to the church thing, I do feel that it will be helpful for me. I always tend to be lazy when I do things by myself, so being part of a community will be a good thing.

I guess I just keep waiting for things to be settled so that I can start enjoying my year off from school. What I am starting to realize that this year off may be the hardest year that I have had in a while. I may just have to accept that things are going to be hard and I can't keep on waiting. I just need to make due with what I have been given.

My thoughts have really been bouncing around tonight...

Oh well. I think I'm going to go soak my aching feet :)

By looking at the date, I've realized that I am averaging about one blog per month. Which is pretty pathetic. I've thought about posting things once and a while but I never feel like I have much to say about that day.

Today i went to the library with my boyfriend and they had stacks of free books outside. Now, normally all of these books are either encyclopedias or books from the 80's with weird colored covers, but they actually had some good ones. I picked up a Study Bible, Jodi Piccoult's My Sister's Keeper and In Her Shoes by Jennifer Weiner. I'm definitely pretty satisfied with this find. We also went to AT&T to look at phones because my upgrade is coming up. After checking them out, there wasn't many that I liked, we went to Best Buy and the same phones were either free with activation or $100 cheaper. AT&T is such a rip off! I knew they were bastards...

Anyways, I still haven't decided between the Samsung Impression or the Solstice. I have a few more weeks to decide though. I know I will be very thankful to get ride of my piece of shit LG Shine that's for sure.

Did I mention we go chili dogs as a early dinner? Mmmmm so good :)

So I must say that today definitely put me in a better mood. Even if its only temporary, it's nice.

Wednesday Night Ramblings

I guess I haven't gotten used to actually having a blog yet. Especially since its been a little over a week since I finally got it up and running with my first post. Oh well.

I guess people could think that my life is so busy and full of exciting things that I don't have time to write everyday. Oh how I wish that were so; instead its mostly because I forget or am caught up with something.

Sooo, change of topic.

I really wish I could go on vacation. A REAL vacation. One of my favorite people in the world, my ex-roomie Courtney, is going on vacation with her family for two weeks and I am so jealous!

I haven't had a vacation with my family since Mexico in 4th grade. Isn't that pathetic!

One thing is for certain, when I am finally done with school and have a real job, I am taking my family on vacation with me. I would love, love, love to go to Europe. :) Maybe I'll be lucky enough one day to go.

Of a few things I am certain.

1.) I am a very moody person and my current circumstances has definitely made me more so.

2.) Also due to my current circumstances, I have been easily jealous of my friends and all of the wonderful things they get to do. Its not like

I'm moaning because I can't go to Vegas or something. (That I would be a normal complaint by me)

Lately, I've been jealous of them going out to dinner with friends, or buying super cute Guess purses. Little things that I can no longer afford :/

Its funny how you go off to college and find out what its like to be one your own and poor. Then you graduate from college and become

absolutely broke. Hmphf...I definitely didn't see that one coming.

(Side note: If you are confused as to what my "circumstances" are I will quickly fill you in. About a month and a half ago I was scammed by an internet company and quite a large sum of money was taken from me. Moving on...)

So yes I've become jealous of my friends. Ugh! I am trying to think of the positive side to my dilemma and I have realized that I really have taken for granted all the little things.

These days it doesn't take

as much to make me happy. Being able to pay bills would make me happy. Being able to have money left over would also make me happy. Not necessarily to buy clothes and something sparkly. More like fresh groceries or dinner and a movie.

I've learned how to cut out absolutely everything that is not absolutely necessary.

If anyone is a shopoholic, one way to cut that habit is to definitely cut the money source.

That will definitely do it.

But oh how I miss shopping!! Although I must admit, I don't crave the frivolous stuff anymore. I actually just enjoy shopping for what I need now.

I think I am done ranting for tonight.

I could have made this post much more organized and concise, but I'm out of school!

I'll save organization for graduate school :)

Today is an interesting day

Most days I'm at my meaningless job, exhausted and stressing over bills that I can't pay. Or I'm at home after working at my job for 8 1/2 hours, cooking dinner, which is one of my few escapes these days.

There is something about cooking that makes me happy. Maybe its the fact that I created something delicious and pretty. Or it could be the satisfaction of seeing Ryan gobbling it down and calling me a good cook ;)

Either way, I love to cook these days. Which my family finds completely hilarious since not only did I not know how to cook most things growing up, I burned eggs. Yep, eggs.

So you could say that I have come a long way.

Back to today.

Usually Mondays means a slow day at work and barely making my sales goal. Instead it means sitting in my apartment, not sure what to do with my time because I have today off, and tomorrow. Its a weird feeling. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind having a job and I desperately need the money but I just can't stand the one I have. Is it so much to ask for a place to work that I enjoy being at for more than six hours at a time? Or a place where I actually have some responsibilities and my intelligence is actually being used? I guess it be asking for too much right now, especially the way the job market is.

As a college graduate, I just expect something more than selling shoes.