Wednesday Night Ramblings

I guess I haven't gotten used to actually having a blog yet. Especially since its been a little over a week since I finally got it up and running with my first post. Oh well.

I guess people could think that my life is so busy and full of exciting things that I don't have time to write everyday. Oh how I wish that were so; instead its mostly because I forget or am caught up with something.

Sooo, change of topic.

I really wish I could go on vacation. A REAL vacation. One of my favorite people in the world, my ex-roomie Courtney, is going on vacation with her family for two weeks and I am so jealous!

I haven't had a vacation with my family since Mexico in 4th grade. Isn't that pathetic!

One thing is for certain, when I am finally done with school and have a real job, I am taking my family on vacation with me. I would love, love, love to go to Europe. :) Maybe I'll be lucky enough one day to go.

Of a few things I am certain.

1.) I am a very moody person and my current circumstances has definitely made me more so.

2.) Also due to my current circumstances, I have been easily jealous of my friends and all of the wonderful things they get to do. Its not like

I'm moaning because I can't go to Vegas or something. (That I would be a normal complaint by me)

Lately, I've been jealous of them going out to dinner with friends, or buying super cute Guess purses. Little things that I can no longer afford :/

Its funny how you go off to college and find out what its like to be one your own and poor. Then you graduate from college and become

absolutely broke. Hmphf...I definitely didn't see that one coming.

(Side note: If you are confused as to what my "circumstances" are I will quickly fill you in. About a month and a half ago I was scammed by an internet company and quite a large sum of money was taken from me. Moving on...)

So yes I've become jealous of my friends. Ugh! I am trying to think of the positive side to my dilemma and I have realized that I really have taken for granted all the little things.

These days it doesn't take

as much to make me happy. Being able to pay bills would make me happy. Being able to have money left over would also make me happy. Not necessarily to buy clothes and something sparkly. More like fresh groceries or dinner and a movie.

I've learned how to cut out absolutely everything that is not absolutely necessary.

If anyone is a shopoholic, one way to cut that habit is to definitely cut the money source.

That will definitely do it.

But oh how I miss shopping!! Although I must admit, I don't crave the frivolous stuff anymore. I actually just enjoy shopping for what I need now.

I think I am done ranting for tonight.

I could have made this post much more organized and concise, but I'm out of school!

I'll save organization for graduate school :)

Today is an interesting day

Most days I'm at my meaningless job, exhausted and stressing over bills that I can't pay. Or I'm at home after working at my job for 8 1/2 hours, cooking dinner, which is one of my few escapes these days.

There is something about cooking that makes me happy. Maybe its the fact that I created something delicious and pretty. Or it could be the satisfaction of seeing Ryan gobbling it down and calling me a good cook ;)

Either way, I love to cook these days. Which my family finds completely hilarious since not only did I not know how to cook most things growing up, I burned eggs. Yep, eggs.

So you could say that I have come a long way.

Back to today.

Usually Mondays means a slow day at work and barely making my sales goal. Instead it means sitting in my apartment, not sure what to do with my time because I have today off, and tomorrow. Its a weird feeling. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind having a job and I desperately need the money but I just can't stand the one I have. Is it so much to ask for a place to work that I enjoy being at for more than six hours at a time? Or a place where I actually have some responsibilities and my intelligence is actually being used? I guess it be asking for too much right now, especially the way the job market is.

As a college graduate, I just expect something more than selling shoes.